1. I opened my mind.
I found other bigger women that I thought were sexy and self confident. I opened my mind to finding women of size (including myself) beautiful. It sounds really stupid but when I was younger, I didn’t have the access to the internet that we do now. Everyone I saw, every person who was portrayed as beautiful or sexy in my life was thin. It was very life changing for me to find plus size erotic models, showing their bodies and being sexy in their size and skin. As soon as I saw it I wanted it.
2. I broke it all down.
I realized and implemented a lot of different thinking than I had when I was younger.
Now, I don’t compare myself to anyone. I simply look at the person I am today and work on making that person better.
I gave up on perfection. I will never be perfect. No one is. I stopped beating myself up about this.
I don’t expect every single person in the world to find me beautiful. I think I’m a niche and I have no problem with that. There are just as many men out there who think I’m a goddess as men out there who would pass me by and not look twice.
I’m real with myself about my attributes and downfalls. I do my best to show off those attributes and flaunt what I do have.
3. I surrounded myself with loving and supportive people.
Anyone in my life who was a negative I let go of. Cut them off and moved on. I’m very people picky with those I hold close to me. While I get along and can converse with almost everyone the people that I keep close to me in my life I literally love.
And this is not limited to just friends. After high school I cut out a giant portion of my family because they were addicts.
Now, I stand by and support every single person in my life and they do the very same for me. Everyone in my life is loving and we want nothing but the best for one another. We all help each other through the hard times and push each other to know even greater levels of success and happiness.
This has made the hugest difference.
4. I stopped giving a fuck.
There will always be people out there who want to knock you down. Who are jealous or who hate on you for seemingly no reason. (To them there is one however, it’s not often real.)
So…who the fuck cares?! Not me.
I wake up and go to bed with the same person every single day. Me. I’m the one who has to live with myself, my actions and my decisions. I know exactly who I am and why I do pretty much everything I do. Do I make mistakes? Sure – everyone does. All I try to do is the best I can in any situation with the tools and wisdom that I have today. If I continue to do that then I will continue to live with myself easily.
I don’t allow hate in my life. Sure I have bouts with it every now and then but in general I know that it’s not worth it and that my energy is better used somewhere else, somewhere positive. It might sound stupid but when I’m angry or faced with hate – I break it down and talk myself through it. I ask myself whether it’s worth it or not, normally it isn’t. This plays a huge part into giving weight to the things people say about me – if ever.
Honestly, I don’t care.
If I don’t know you, I really don’t care what you think about me. The odd time people say something mean about me it’s usually stupid and unfounded. Things really roll off me now. I separate myself from everything that happens online. I mean – you think I look ugly when I wear red? Whatever, I think I look fucking awesome in red and I’m gonna wear it any time I choose. You think I look better as a redhead? Thanks, I rocked red for years, now I’m into black and I think I rock that just as hard.
Why are you going to sit around and let something that someone you don’t even know, who doesn’t know you and obviously doesn’t know what you’re about stew around in your mind? To me that really just doesn’t make much sense.
People have used my pictures on thinspro blogs. Called me fat, said that they would rather kill themselves than look like me. The only thing I think is that:
1 – That’s very sad and very foolish, outer appearance is hardly worth harming yourself over. There is so much more that makes up your being and everything you are.
2 – I’m glad for them that they weren’t born plus size because they’re obviously not strong enough to live as a fab plus size lady.
Point is one persons opinion should NEVER change how you view yourself. Some strangers comment on the fucking internet should never make you second guess yourself. So, stop giving a fuck about people and opinions that shouldn’t matter. J